The JJO'SCast™ Mission Statement

Lots of people have asked, "John, why are you wasting what little time you have in order to feel awkward?" Actually, no one asked this. Instead, I believe it was something in my subconscious, brought up in a dream. 
There were some queries, however, on what this podcast will involve. It's a valid question, since you'll pay the huge price of nothing in order to download it to your phone.
Even so, it's worth asking. And, really, I would like this podcast to have some semblance of form. So, I spent our monthly mortgage payment on some Six Sigma Super Yellow Belt Master Ninja Superstar Experts to come up with something any new organisation requires: A proper mission statement. (Sorry Danielle.) The fruit of our home's monthly debt follows:

JJOSCast™ Mission Statement:

The JJOSCast™ will provide a forward-thinking, proactive, synergstic, cost-effective, by-the-book, 60,000-foot-level, best-of-breed, and other business buzzword programme for the Internet and other similar low-level content sharing systems across all boards and holy shit is this sentence over yet? We will aim for both low-hanging and high-hanging fruit. We will also employ those apple-pickers-on-a-stick that you can get at the apple orchard for a $10 rental with $20 deposit. Our ultimate goal is to take over the world for Libertarian Catholic Surrealism, whatever that is. We think it has to do with incense and icons, being left alone, and cats playing bocce with the colour blue. Until then, we’ll be happy with a few hundred listeners.
The content will change from week to week, but it will focus upon rants on various things that interest or anger the JJOSCast™ prime host, John J. O’Sullivan. The structure will feature the following: 1. Welcome 2. Begging for money* 3. Introduction of a Rant™ 4. More begging for money 5. If you don’t send me money, the Lord is going to take me away. 6. If you don’t send me money, the men in the white coats are going to take me away. 7. Intermission 8. Recreational Thinking 9. Electronic Mail from the listeners and/or Electronic Mail that is made up by the host 10. Money? 11. Conclusion 12. Advertisement for money The structure is subject to change without notice. There may or may not be co-hosts, depending upon whether people actually want to destroy their reputations by talking with a weirdo on his weird show that gets about 18 hits on the iTunes store.
NJTransit licks unwashed constuction worker buttcrack. This has nothing to do with the Mission Statement, but it’s worth mentioning.
In fine, we here at the JJOSCast™ organisation wish to provide to the world something that you have only heard from that weird guy in a Subway Station who yells at a wall. Except this guy was a former college celebrity.
*There may or may not be as much begging, depending upon the timing. It’ll be like pledge drive season on the one NPR station you occasionally listen to. You hear great music that they never play, and you’re like “Holy crap, this is awesome! A great Dave Brubeck concert! I can’t believe they’re playing….oh crap, it’s a 25-minute pledge break. Damnit. So much for radio. I’ll listen to the ‘Ace of Base Greatest Hits’** album that’s on my phone.” **Don’t judge. There are some great songs on that album.